You Take the High Road, I'll Take the Low Road

I haven't blogged since October! Well I'm back and hopefully I can blog more regularly now that I've resigned from my job. Yeah that's right. I'm no longer with WB ! I put in my notice of resignation on Monday evening. I was so nervous to hit the send button. It was as if I were staring at a cross road and if I hit the send button a whole new branch would emerge in my life. As I wrote my resignation letter I tried to imagine two branches each taking me to a completely different life. For a while I thought what if the resignation branch leads me to a 40 something chain smoking parent of six living in a silver dome in the trailer park barely functioning off food stamps. But then I think of the other branch which leads me down the path to a 40 something with a single 10 year old child that hates me and calls her nanny mom and me hating every second of my life because my boss has it in for me and silly me I bought a house I couldn't afford and I'm stuck in my job. whew! Okay so the choice was sort of clear. I could be miserable, stuck in a job, and potentially have a child that doesn't know me but I'd rather have a few children and happy and poor.

But fortunately with my new 'stay at home mom' status I can afford to put my entrepeurial skills to work. I definitely have a desire not to be broke so that will be my starting motivation. I already have three businesses that I've thought of and one has been in business for almost 10 years now. I feel so lucky having a husband that believes in me and also sees the benefit of me staying at home with our daughter. Its just a happy decision anyway you look at it. Though my house hunt will be delayed for a few years, I am definitely willing to pay the price for waiting.

So come to find out my two bosses actually weren't surprised at all and were quite supportive of my decision. whew! And I stressed out for nothing. I tend to do that. I should work on that. At least for the sake of my child. I'd hate to have two of us in the house sweating the small stuff. I will have to go back sometime in the new year and give my 'former' co-workers and bosses a visit. They said they really wanted to see the baby. She'll be four months then. Wow time flies.

Why I Use Gro Baby Cloth Diapers

Here is an adorable animated video on why it is important to use cloth diapers, and how easy it is to use the Gro Baby system of diapers.

Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lW9navHC7Qo

Willow Soleil is Here

Here is the story of her birth...

Labor started on Friday evening of the 11th of September. The contractions were very mild and I wasn't quite sure if these would lead to anything. They did include some mild pain unlike braxton hicks contractions.

On Saturday the 12th of September the contractions persisted but were mild enough to not stop me from running errands. Phil and I went to about five different stores, and even managed to get the car washed. We returned that evening and finished the last six episodes of Lost Season 3. At this point it was 10:30pm and the contractions had still not stopped so I figured we'd better get rest just in case. I took a shower then went to bed and timed the contractions, they were pretty close together but the pain wasn't that intense. I called the nurse at Labor and Delivery and they said to come in when 2 to 3 minutes apart.

It is now 2am on the 13th of September and the contractions are getting extremely close together, Phil was worried I might give birth in the car so he insisted we leave without timing them. At 2:30am we arrive to UCLA Ronald Regan. I get put into the admitting room to be checked out to see if I'm far enough along. They asked me about my birth plan. I said I'm with the midwife group and want an all -natural un-medicated birth. I do not want to be continuously monitored. I also would like her cord blood to completely pulse into her body before it gets cut, and I do not want an episiotomy, I'd rather tear. Also I requested that she not be fed any formula and that I'd like to breastfeed.

They did a speculum exam to see if my waters had broken, which the results were positive. The sad news was that there was meconium present, which means the baby took a poopie inside. They do this sometime due to stress however all her vitals and mine were perfect. Then they checked to see if I was dialated to 4cm. I requested that I be able to go home if I was less than 4cm and they seemed cool with that. But the good news is that I had made it to 4cm and was considered in Active labor.

They moved me to the room where I was supposed to deliver. My contractions are now more painful and I have to stop talking in order to cope with each wave. They hooked me up to a continuous monitor which is hospital policy for the first 20 minutes of admission. I sat there in agony for several hours because they said that her heart rate didn’t accelerate during a contraction. I’ve never heard of this in my research on natural birth so I reluctantly went with it. Typically if a baby’s heart rate decelerates during a contraction this is cause for concern, though I’ve never heard the opposite to be true. I just figured maybe she has an athlete’s heart and its in great shape. Finally a few hours later they let me labor in the shower for 20 minutes at a time. This was a tremendous relief as by this point the contractions were so intense. I felt them in my lower back and underside of my belly. I did this agonizing hard labor for about 11 hours. Phil was my hero who stayed with me at every contraction, rammed his fists as hard as he could into my lower back with each contraction, and coached me on relaxing and breathing through each contraction. At one point I cried in the shower at the agony and wanted to be checked to see if it was time to push. They laid me down and checked and at 11 hours of extremely hard labor, I hadn’t moved past 4cm. I was devastated as well when they told me that my cervix was getting swollen because I had unknowingly been pushing through the contractions.

At this point they decided that my body needed to relax a little so they ordered an epidural. They also wanted to put me on a pitocin drip so that it would regulate my contractions and make them even stronger. I laid in bed, strapped to monitors, hooked up to countless IV concoctions, and stayed like this for 10 hours. Finally I was checked again, only to receive more sad news, I had only progressed to 5cm, the baby’s head was swollen, and she was still in the sunny side up position. At this rate everyone thought it best to get the baby out and not put her into stress. I agreed and off to the operating room I went at 11pm.

Willow Soleil was born via c-section at 11:34pm, September 13. I still do not know if I made the right decision to have a c-section, but I cannot predict what could have happened if I had continued on the epidural and pitocin for more countless hours. The fact that she had still not engaged in the birth canal signaled to me that she probably would have had to come out via an emergency c-section in the end anyway. At least my c-section was not an emergency so they could take their time and do it right.

I fell in love with my daughter the moment I found out I was pregnant and when they took her from my body and she cried, I wept like I had never wept before. I also fell even more in love with my husband as I marveled how we could create something so perfect and beautiful.

I Did It!

I have worked 38 weeks and 4 days of my pregnancy. Today was my last day of work and I'm finally on maternity leave until January 7th, 2010. I had doubts I'd make it this far and even requested HR let me train my temp a week prior than scheduled "Just in Case". I especially had doubts this past week because Sunday I became randomly nauseous at 10pm, had back to back contractions, and runny #2's. I chalk it up to false labor. I've had nothing similar at all the rest of this week. And I did it. I made it to the end.

Now starts the waiting game and all my home remedies to start labor are now in effect. These are the remedies which were suggested by my natural child birth books as well as two of the UCLA midwifes.

• I'm currently drinking Third Trimester Tea every morning - famous for its Red Raspberry Tea Leaf which helps to tone the uterus.
• Every night I insert Evening Primrose Oil which helps to soften the cervix.
• TMI but sex with semen also helps to soften the cervix. I recently read that semen has some sort of fatty acid property called prostaglandins. Hospitals routinley use a synthetic version of prostaglandins to induce labor however why pay for what you can get for free. Though sex has become quite comical trying to accommodate my 42" belly bump, this will be a daily fun fest until I go into labor.
• I've also began to walk at least 30 minutes a day.This is by far the hardest part of the remedies due to the weight on my feet, belly sagging to the ground, and lower back hurting.

Round 2... Fight!

Round two of our attempts to own a small piece of LA. We put in an offer today for a cute house (in much better shape than our first offer) in Burbank. We constantly struggle with the fact that our monthly rent will be doubling. We go back and forth and wonder if this is the right move in such a scary economy. But the fact is, we've increased our rent so much within the last eight years and we've always been able to handle it. We are also older now and paying more attention to the media and that makes home buying less than digestible. So note to self: stop listening to NPR.

We will find out on Friday if our daughter will get a new house.

No Nest Yet

Though we were in the top ten offers for the house in Burbank, today we learned that someone beat us out with a an all cash offer. We can't top that with a ten foot pole. So our daughter doesn't have her own nest yet. We're hoping that another house will get listed soon. The only way to be homeowner's in LA is to have cash, know the person your buying the house from, or get lucky. *sigh*

Le Tour

Finally got in to see the UCLA Westwood hospital. It is oober cool with valet parking, ease getting to L&D, huge elevators, take out service after the baby is born, 24 hour visiting, it really jut rocks. They even are very respectful of women choosing unmedicated natural child birth and encourage every new mom to breastfeed and have skin to skin with in baby's first hour. On the way back to picking up our car from Valet, we were thinking she just might have to be a Bruin afterall. I am on cloud nine about my hospital and midwife decision and I am definitely looking forward to my baby's birth in a short five weeks.

Searching for a New Rats Nest

When parents have said in the past to me they have unconditional love for their children I never really knew what that meant. I still probably won't know the full extent of it until my daughter is born in 5 weeks. I've experienced complete parental mind takeover in that I have consistently made sure I try to do everything right in my pregnancy, in the impending birth, and in life style changes.

One thing that has recently had me and Phil completely freaked out was not owning a house. A light bulb dawned on us one day as we were looking at a scheduled bill payment to pay off a credit card which was a few thousand dollars. We looked at each other and I said we should use this money towards a down payment. We can find something affordable I'm sure.

From that moment the hunt for a new rats nest was on. We put in an offer for a house in Burbank that was way too underpriced. We ended up putting in an even higher offer so that we could be considered at the top of the list. We are anxiously waiting results of our offer and hope to be home owners very soon.

Midwife Ahoy

Today was my appointment with one of the UCLA Midwives. My husband and I pulled into the parking structure looking like bright eyed deers. I had a slight sting of sticker shock at the medical plaza's $11 parking fee. Doh! Fortunately the plaza's signs were very helpful in finding out where we had to go.

I get in to the office and ask the woman at the administration desk if I'm supposed to leave sample. My ritual has always been to drink a lot of water so I'm prepared to release the flood gates. She asked me to sign some paperwork and wait for the label that goes on the specimen cup. About this time I'm dancing and holding back with all my might. Meanwhile the baby enjoys punching at my bladder.

Ahh relief I got to go. Weird though, their specimen cups were just plain old dixie cups. hah.
So far my experience has been great and all the staff was so accommodating and just as nice as could be. I finally got in to see Stacey - wife #1 of 4.

She gave us a consultation and immediately asked me if I had a birthplan. Right away I was welling up inside because wow she actually wants to know what I WANT out of the birth! She gave me their standard practices spiel and I just couldn't stop being so impressed at everything that she said. In my chart she even wrote that I practice Bradley, which all the Midwives are very well versed in.

My maternal instinct may have kicked in that I needed to switch from my OB very late in the game, but now that I'm where I'm supposed to be, I'm completely unfreaked out about my baby's birth day.

Now....the only caveat is that I ended up doing a tour of the wrong UCLA hospital center so I have to find a way to get in. I'm on a waitlist for a tour on Saturday and will plead and beg to get in.

Baby Bruin?

After spending lord only knows how much time on the phone with my insurance company, they have finally found an OB which has a group of six midwives in network! This group is called The UCLA Midwives and they deliver at UCLA Westwood. So ultimately my baby would be born into the Bruin world.

Our first appoint is not until next week which means I have missed 4 weeks of care since abandoning ship with my previous OB but the baby seems to be doing great :) And we're touring UCLA Westwood this Saturday.

After doing research with different Bradley instructors and other women who've had successful natural un-medicated childbirths they all seem to swear by the UCLA Midwife group. I'm looking forward to meeting them.

Tiny Bubbles

As you know from my previous posts, I am cloth diapering little Bubley. We are using a brand of diapers from The Natural Baby Company called Gro Baby. I chose the diapers from this company primarily because they use sustainable resources, and offer all organic. Recently The Natural Baby Company just released a new product called Tiny Bubbles which is a laundry detergent to wash the diapers. I am very excited to wash my first batch of cloth diapers and Bubley's clothes using Tiny Bubbles.

Cloth diapers require special care when laundaring because detergents can cause build up which then causes the diapers to leak. Tiny Bubbles claim to fame for both diaper and baby clothes washing is that it is:

• Dye & Fragrance Free
• Completely Biodegradable
• Completely Phosphate-Free
• No Optical Brighteners or Fillers
• Gentle for Sensitive Skin
• Low Residue Formula
• Ultra-Concentrated
• Low Cost-Per-Wash
• Recyclable

The Hunt is On

One of my co-workers referred me to his Bradley instructor, who then referred me to a midwife in Beverly Hills. I met with her today. She was a lovely human being who totally understood my desire to have a wonderful birth experience. But.....and there always is one, she is not in my health insurance network.

Her fee's are stiff and you have to pay upfront. Insurance will pay a portion of these costs but not guaranteed all of them. If I did medically need a c-section I'd most likely get NO reimbursement.

So again I walk off with my tail tucked between my legs, feeling defeated. Back to the drawing board in my hunt for a midwife in my insurance network.

Ditching the Assembly Line

Today was my 30 week doctor appointment. Everything went as normal except this time I dare approach my birth plan with the doctor. This something that most first time moms always bring up at the wrong time- wrong time being the 3rd trimester.

At the end of our session doc asks if I have any questions - Dr. Anne was one of the few in the group of women physicians that actually sticks around to see if I have any concerns. Nervously I brought up the fact that I wanted a natural un-medicated birth and inquired as to how they would work with me to accommodate that. Her immediate response was, are you practicing the Bradley method. I proudly said, "Yes" thinking that I was a studious patient. I was floored at her response, "Oh we don't accept Bradley patients, but I can make sure you get in to see the doctor that's 'in' to that kind of stuff." WHAT! That wasn't what I wanted to hear. I felt so shunned and knew that even if that doctor in the group that was in to natural birthing became my primary doctor, I'd still run the risk of delivering with one of the six other doctors in the group who weren't 'in to' that.

I walked out of there with my tail tucked between my legs and began a nervous rampage searching every Bradley instructor in the South Bay and LA for referrals.

What I've now since learned since being a naive first time mom is that most OB's in this country have their patients on an assembly line during delivery. They give you remedies to speed up labor and delivery which actually is more prone to lead to a c-section. There's apparently a thing they teach in school called text book labor. If the woman doesn't go by that clock then its time to break out the Pitocin and get things moving.

I've taken out of this lesson, which almost gave me a potentially horrible birthing experience that if you want to have an un-medicated, natural, do it at your own pace, child birth, then you HAVE to use a Certified Nurse Midwife. I am glad I learned this lesson just 10 weeks prior to delivery day instead of while lying there on the delivery table having a gaggle of guilty induced non necessary medical interventions.

The Tour Before the Tour and No Surprise

I've been having this crazy pain since Monday in my pubic bone which I attribute to Pelvic Symphysis Dysfunction. I basically got it after working an all nighter on a Special Olympics program. As best as I can describe the pain, it feels like I rode my bike from here to about Mexico, and the after arriving to Mexico, one of the locals kicked me directly in my crotch. The first night I experienced it after getting up during movie night with Phil. I hurled over in pain and had to be helplessly escorted to the bathroom. *shameful* I've since been accustomed to the pain and have dealt with it more effectively; mainly by grasping my hands under my ever growing belly while I walk.

Enough was enough, and I called my doctor yesterday to see if this was something normal or if I should be concerned. Describing the type of pain to her, she immediately wanted me to go to the Labor & Delivery (L&D) department at the hospital rather than waiting for my next appointment on the 9th of June. Two and a half hours later—thanks LA traffic—me and Phil arrived at the Torrance Memorial Hospital. They checked me in and were quite cordial to me despite my anticipation that I was going to be preyed on for being a paranoid patron. I put on the hideously annoying hospital gown of which the back end tie was broken so I was bare-assed.

My 3 hours at the hospital consisted of a pelvic exam which checks for amniotic fluid leaks. The nurse said this would be like a normal pap smear but slightly more uncomfortable. Uh.... No! This was more like comparing a paper cut to a knife wound. Ouch! No leaks were found. They monitored the baby's heart beats and signs of contractions with these two monitors strapped to my belly. So far everything A-OK. Then I head down to the ultrasound department which was semi embarassing. I was wheeled down by one of the orderlies and passed by the gift shop and waiting room 2 floors down from L&D. The tech was a doll. She asked me the gender and I proudly said, "A little girl" with the slighted response, "Unless she's grown some parts since my last ultrasound." She chuckled. My fluid was checked and was 11.7 cc's. I'm guessing that's a pint of Guiness perhaps. She also checked my cervical length and said I was nice and long at 4cm. The length has always been a point of contention with me since I've felt weird stabbing pains off and on during this pregnancy. It was a relief to know the thing was staying shut and long! At the end she turned the monitor to try and show me the baby's precious face. But alas this little girl had a repeat of her 13 week ultrasound where parts of her were hiding. Guess I'll have to wait until September. The very end the tech pointed to the monitor and said, "Well there's the girl junk, she has not grown any new parts." It was great to not have a gender surprise.

All tests were normal. I was sent home instructed to drink more fluids, bed rest til Monday (Obviously I'm not following it since as I'm writing this blog), and to purchase a maternity belt. Today I went to a local medical supply company and bought this crazy contraption which lifts my belly off my pelvic floor and moves it to my back. So far it works pretty well.

I have two hospital tours on June 14th and this was a great tour before the tour, where I got to test out the nurses, and hospital accomodations.

Thank God everything is okay!

Cabbage Patch and Dragons Oh My

My friend Krista has finished making some of the bedding for Bubley. It's completely adorable and will go perfect with me and Sarah's paintings which will be started after my projects for Special Olympics are complete.

(above)
The Fabric!

The Cute Dragon Print!

The Back with adorable faux quilting square stitch

Front and Back View

Stitching Detail

Close up trim detail.

The full duvet with down comforter inside.

The best part after finding out the gender has been getting to put the room together and picking colors. I've had the room painted green prior to knowing we were having a girl because it was just an adorable color. The room color (which my mom so graceously painted) is Dunn Edwards Cabbage Patch Green, and Sand White.

I also scoured the thrift shops for the perfect new dresser. Finally I found one with an awesome curvy retro design since my emphasis is on whimsy and fantasy. This will soon be painted the same green color as the walls and will serve as a changing station.

5 Months

Today I am 23 weeks along. Though I felt tiny flutters since week 10 it wasn't until week 19 that I felt really obvious kicks and rolls. Bubley has recently started kicking me like crazy the past few days and it has mostly been in the crotch! *yipes* I am so in love with her and will put up with anything.

This past weekend I went shopping. I got a diaper bag from Tilly's and only $40! Though its a laptop tote it has an incredible amount of pockets so it should work good carrying around a bunch of baby stuff. I scored a dresser at the Salvation Army for $59 and will be painting it the same green as the nursery walls. I also bought $126 worth of material so my friend Krista can make Bubley's baby duvet (which will be stuffed with a down comforter), crib organizer, and crib skirt.

This last week my niece Sarah and I spent our craft night sketching up ideas for a large mural painting plus a series of 3 canvas panels. The theme for her room is medieval fantasy chalk full of dragons, fairys, gnomes, castles, unicorns, and a princess. I am hoping Bubley will grow to love fantasy just as much as me.

Today I go to see Dr. Sanders again and will see if she can check my cervix length again. I've been getting weird stabbing pains and I'm not sure if that's normal. She will hopefully also answer why I am wheezing and have a rattling chest in the mornings. More updates coming soon.

Cotton Bottom Hippy

I've always considered myself quite the hippy when it comes to food and hygiene products. So when I found out I was pregnant, I began dreaming of all the environmental factors that the little ones produce. Thinking about the amount of waste that my baby was going to create with disposable diapers made me quite queasy. I did additional research on the type of materials used in disposables, the cost over the child's lifetime, and health factors.

The decision was simple, my baby is going to be a Cotton Bottom Hippy. Cloth diapering has so many benefits and pretty much only ONE inconvenience which is having to wash the diapers. But with convienent diaper sprayers that connect to your toilet, cleaning is a breeze.

1. Eliminating diapers from the environment. Reducing toxins from the plastic production. Reducing strain on earth's resources by having reusable diapers.
2. Eliminating toxins from my child's body. No plastic touching her sensative parts.
3. Potty training will come a lot faster!
4. They're freaking adorable.

I've done a lot of research on different types of cloth diapers. They have everything from the old fashion type, pre folded, and all-in-ones. I loved the idea of all-in-one's being as close to a disposable as possible. Then I had to research all the brands.

There was an overwhelming response on the brand Gro Baby. I read that they were soft, organic, and even had liners so you can reuse the shell with multiple changes. I was sold! The best yet is that I can use their diapers from birth to toddler, and even have them for my next child. Another factor when choosing a product is that the manufacturer uses sustainable resources. The Natural Baby Company, the manufacturer, definitely abides to this practice.

I have filled up my registry and can't wait to put these adorable cloth diapers on my baby girl!

It's a ......

Tomorrow I will turn 18 weeks and to celebrate I have my second ultrasound which will hopefully come back negative for down syndrome, spina bifida, and other fetal complications. The appointment with Dr. Naylor turned out great. The baby is perfect in every way and my sub chorionic is finally healed. I am now officially off pelvic rest!!!!! The first thing I do tomorrow when I get home from work is to go for a walk with my dogs.

Okay on to the good stuff... finally Bubley decided to reveal the goods which means we are now proud parents to a baby.....

Now question that most ask after you tell them the gender is always...what's the name? I conducted a surveymonkey poll guessing the gender of which 51% said female. The prize for being right was the chance to contribute a name to our name consideration list. Unfortunately we didn't feel any of the names—though most were adorable—were compatible with me and Phil's personalities. But keeping in the surprise spirit, Phil and I have decided to keep the name a secret. So for now baby Christian is still Bubley!

Breaking the News

Today was the day that we revealed our big secret. We've finally hit the three month mark! Here were the announcement details that were sent via email and blogged on Facebook and MySpace:

So finally the time has come to reveal a 3 month, 1 week, and 4 day old secret. Phil and I are expecting! Baby Bubley’s arrival is set for September 8, 2009. In anticipation, I’ve answered a few questions and if you’re interested you can watch Bubley on YouTube making viral video history at just 13 weeks old!

• How did it happen?
Well I’m not going to get into the birds and bees since we all know that. But I attribute this pregnancy to friends and family that had me and Phil in their thoughts and prayers, our love for each other and 100% willingness to open our lives, hearts, and minds to raising a child, and of course to my niece Angela who gave me a pair of her baby boy’s shoes which happily resided under our pillows. Gotta love old wives tale remedies.

• When did you find out?
After not feeling like myself for a few weeks, my best friend demanded I take a pregnancy test. I only did it to humor her and believed there’d be no way of being pregnant. After trying for a baby off and on for three years, I didn’t think it would be really happening to me. I ended up going to the store that night because I had a real sudden need for my famous mushroom soup. I wandered down the feminine needs aisle and picked up the cheapest two pack pregnancy test. So then on January 14 before heading out to work I did the dip and waited 3 minutes. I peered over in disbelief while I started at two pink lines. I grabbed the directions to look for anomalies. But nope, there were none. I called Phil in and said, “LOOK.” He hugged me and we left it at that, since we were both so happy we didn’t know how to react. Hehe! That afternoon, still in disbelief, I used my lunch break to buy the most expensive brand of pregnancy test that I could find. I went into to the restroom at work and tested again. And so it was confirmed.

• Where’d you get the nickname Bubley?
Our first ultrasound was at 5wks 5 days. The only visible part of the pregnancy at that time was the gestational yolk sac which the baby uses during early pregnancy for nourishment. This little sac was reminiscent of a bubble, hence the name Bubley. Phil and I have a weird affinity for naming each other and our animals with nicknames beginning with “B”.

• Boy or Girl?
I deep down feel boy, while Phil is thinking pink. We had an ultrasound this past Tuesday at 13 weeks. Bubley however, wasn’t cooperating and decided it would be cute to sit Indian style. This doesn’t make out a good angle to view all the girl or boy parts. The ultrasound showed Bubley’s heartbeat at 153 and once again there’s an old wives tale that says over 140 bpm girl, under 140 bpm boy. But we decided to hold our breath. We will find out during our next ultrasound on April 6th at 18 weeks, so stay tuned.

• Any morning sickness?
Since week 5 I’ve been nauseated, couldn’t stand the smell of ANYTHING, and haven’t had much of an appetite. I have dubbed this, “all day sickness” and have no clue who thought it’d be cute to minimize it down to mornings. I initially lost about 5lbs but have gained 3lbs back. I don’t know how in the world I can gain 25lbs extra! Cupcakes, ice cream and brownies here I come! Blah…. Please don’t mention food! For the past two weeks my nausea subsided to just a few random blips during the day however, I still have aversions to a whole host of smells and the mere mention of food puts me into a nauseated tailspin.

• Any complications?
I’ve had only one bump in the road (besides the baby bump). Around weeks five and eleven I had bleeding. I was diagnosed with having a very common disorder called a Subchorionic Hemorrhage (SCH). This is a tiny abrasion or bruise between the uterus and the placenta which if disrupted can cause bleeding. This does not affect babies at all but does cause alarm when you end up bleeding. The only difficulty I will have during this pregnancy if the SCH does not heal, will be that I will not be able to work out. So, no more spinning classes, no more elliptical, no more hiking, no more backpacking. I am able to walk and do light house work. I have a wonderful husband that has taken care of me while I was on bed rest for one week and pelvic rest for nearly the past 3 ½ months. Thanks Phil! So far the doctors have said the baby is strong and healthy. YAY! I’ve had my first trimester screening this past Tuesday where they did a measurement called the Nuchal Translucency Test. This is where they measure the thickness of baby’s neck. Depending on the amount of fluid present in the neck, coupled with the mother’s age and blood work, they can give an accurate percentage of the baby having Down Syndrome. The great news was that Bubley’s neck measured perfect, and I’m still pretty young. My chances are practically nil.


That's Bubley at 13 weeks.

We Don't Beat In Sync

Friday I went to the doctors for what was supposed to be the official first check up for me and Bubley. I was a little taken back because she said that I do not get an ultra sound. Apparently insurance companies will pay for two ultrasounds unless there is some suspected danger to mom or baby. When I asked her if we could do one she said only if we cannot pick up the heart beat. I'll definitely be calling my insurance to verify this. I was so disappointed I didn't get to see the little dancing bean.

She put the little Doppler probe on my belly and picked up the heart beat almost instantly. At first I thought it was my own however I could feel my own heart beating through my chest and definitely could tell this was Bubley's beating completely out of sync from my own. It was very fast. My husband was with me and even banked the beat of the heart in his memory. He did this because our doctor refuses to tell us the BPM because every baby beats differently and may be out of range of normal but still might produce a healthy baby.

Pretty much I'm normal with everything. My husband was so excited and couldn't keep contained anymore. He spilled the beans to six members of his family including his mom. She took the news as we expected. She was elated at the prospects of having her first grandchild in 7 months. We were able to express our concerns about the risks of miscarriage while we're still early in the game. She was very positive though. She called us the next day and made sure that I was resting. That was sweet that she checked in. My sister in law was extremely happy but then she got mad we didn't tell her earlier. But she didn't hold it much against us. :) This will be her first niece/nephew. And after I told her she had a hankering suspicion that I was pregnant. Not sure how she knew. I'm still not sure when I'm going to tell my family. I think when I'm 13 weeks on March 10th I'll feel more comfortable since I'll be in the second trimester.

I'll be calling Monday for my first trimester screening. This is where they asses risks for all sorts of diseases and conditions. I'm scared for this but as my husband reassured me, its better to know in advance so that we can prepare ourselves down the road if we had to care for a child with special needs. At least I'll get to see my baby in a few weeks.

Well that's the news for now.

Filling in the Blanks

It's been a few weeks since my day at the ER. Since then I've taken at least twelve vials of blood, and had two additional ultrasounds and was put on prometrium, a form of progesterone since I was borderline normal, twice a day at 6wks1day and was told to stop at 10wks1day. I've so far had enough confidence to name this tiny little human Bubley after the image of my first ultrasound resembling a bubble. My husband I seem to have a weird affliction with nicknames that begin with B. I've also been able to at least get a name list started so people could vote on their favorites. Though I never sent this to family and only sent to 1 friend. For some reason I want the name to be a secret. My addiction to the September 2009 birth club on Baby Center has also been a recent obsession which I really should rid my self of. But they've been pretty loyal on voting. :)

According to my second ultrasound Dr. Sanders ob/gyn estimated Bubley's due date at September 8, 2009. Immediately after receiving the news I dreamed of being labor on 9/8 and trying to hold the baby back until midnight so I can technically have a baby on 9/9/9. I dreamt 10 years later when little Bubley celebrates his 10th birthday on 9/9/19 that everyone will just think he/she is the coolest kid ever.
The last few weeks I've dealt with battles of nausea unlike any other. It really sucks but at the same time I feel glad to have had symptoms. My house has remained a mess since I'm unable to do any physical activties until my second trimester. Though my husband has been a tremendous help to me. He's just not quite as domestically trained as me.

Today I have my third ultrasound at 9wks 1day. This is considered my first real check up since the other ones were related to my emergency visit. Though this will be the third time I've met with Dr. Sanders. She has a very strong personality and is not really inept in bedside manner. Today at least I will try and have my husband charm her into being more friendly instead of matter of fact.

I have to admit the person I've wanted to keep the pregnancy from the most is my husbands mother. She is the sweetest person ever and she's asked us a million times when she's going to have her first grandbaby. I just never wanted her to deal with a loss of something so important. It was just better for her not to know until the second trimester has started; 3 weeks from yesterday. My husband is dying to give her the news if today's ultrasound looks promising.

I will write later on the findings that I am so anxiously awaiting.

Sub Chorionic Drama

After being diagnosed with pregnancy via a stick I peed on, a day later I had a tragic wave of blood wash between my legs while at work. While earlier in the morning I thought it had been weird feeling period cramps. I thought for sure, I'm having a miscarriage and this baby is just not meant to be. I should have never found out I was pregnant. Immediately I went to the Little Company of Mary emergency room at 2pm. DH sat with me for 5 hours before being seen. Around the 2 hour mark of waiting I kept telling my husband I didn't care and I just wanted to leave. I was sure I was having a miscarriage and I just wanted to be at home. I had so many waves of emotion going through me. Around the 3 hour mark of waiting (apparently they were abnormally busy that day) I began to cry. I tried hiding the tears in my husband's overstuffed down jacket but it was useless. A man sitting across from us walked over to me and handed me a tissue. He said, "I'm so sorry you have to go through this while your sick. I've been waiting here since 1pm. Just keep your head up and you'll get through it." That little touch of humanity made me perk up, suck it up, and wait the rest of my time at least without tears.

At 6pm I was ushered into the back room to be examined by the ER physician. He was ultra nice and had wonderful bedside manner. He asked me my pain level which was actually non existent. He sounded hopeful. The nurse drew some blood and then they took be to get an ultrasound. Erie silence was all I heard from the technician. I asked, "do you see anything in there?" Still nothing. Finally she finished up with me and turned the monitor around for me to see, still in silence. I noticed a black blob amongst some white grainy background. I knew nothing about what I was looking at.

They put me in one of the rooms of which were in high demand that day. It made me feel slightly
special. Only to learn I had to do a pelvic exam. Finally the same ER physician came in. In a slightly reserved but optimistic candor he showed me a picture of the ultrasound and said your hcg hormone levels are normal and we see a tiny tear called a sub chorionic hematoma. The tiny little black blob he said was the baby's sac. There was no embryo seen but I had all the signs of a healthy pregnancy....so far.

Despite my rule of not wanting to declare my pregnancy to anyone until the danger zone of the first trimester has passed, I've so far managed to tell quite a few people. My boss and his boss found out because I had to be on bedrest. So far they have been very supportive and excited. I told my two best friends, of course my husband, my mom, three coworkers that already suspected me of being pregnant, and some pregnant girl I ran into in the hallway at work. Oh and another pregnant girl in the kitchen at work. I'm sure there are more people I've told, or inferred to. Ugh.

My next appointment was for Monday after 5 days of bedrest.

It just got better

To confirm this morning's results I went to Von's during my lunch break instead of going to the gym. I got a name brand pregnancy test–First Response–which is supposed to be the best of the best. I just wanted to be absolutely sure that my generic pregnancy test this morning wasn't a fluke. I went into the cramped bathroom stall at work and prepared my test on a piece of paper on top of the toilet paper holder. I was careful to wait until everyone in the bathroom was gone so as not to be discovered. I put the stick in the stream making sure to hold it there for 10 seconds, then let it rest on my make shift sanitary table. I clocked the cell phone and stared at it for 3 minutes. Of course out of sheer excitement I stared at the test prior to the 3 minutes and watched the two lines appear. Certainly two tests can't be wrong.

I immediately called an Ob and set up the first prenatal appointment for Jan 19. The lady on the phone fielded me with questions of which when was the first day of your last cycle. She had then said I must be around 7 to 8 weeks. I opted to wait for an appointment with the obstetrician rather than the midwife. At least for the first visit.

More to come later.

Today Was Extra Special

We've been trying to get pregnant since our wedding night without any luck. We went back and forth; maybe we weren't meant to have kids...to....there's no way that we were not going to go without having a kid. Finally late 2006 we decided that it was time to go to the doctor to figure out what was up. We got poked, prodded, and tested. We found out after a very uncomfortable HSG X-ray that my right tube was blocked. The doc put us on Clomid and we tried that for six months. Still nothing.

In 2007 I started a new job, and was still not pregnant. Kept trying and trying. We decided that in 2009 we would pursue more aggressive fertility treatment options such as insemination and in-vitro fertilization. I ended up getting my referral for a fertility clinic on December 30th. My DH (darling husband) and I were excited to move forward and finally realize our dreams of having children. I was doubly excited at the prospects of potentially having twins so that I wouldn't have to go through the procedures again.

I decided that on January 9th I would call the fertility clinic to set up my first appointment. Yesterday I was expressing my concerns to my best friend about my growing, swollen, and super tender breasts, feeling slightly weird, and a period that hadn't come in two months (which is actually not out of the ordinary for me.) She demanded that I take a pregnancy test that night. So by the end of the day I was craving mushrooms, tons and tons of mushrooms. So I went to Ralph's and bought the ingredients for an awesome Mushroom soup (click here for my recipe). I wasn't going to take the pregnancy test because I really didn't want to spend the money on something I knew would be negative. But somehow I found myself in the feminine needs aisle with my friends persistent voice in my head. I purchased the two pack generic pregnancy tests since I thought well since I know I'm not pregnant I'll get two tests as they are cheaper per unit and at least if I'm curious of pregnancy in the future I can have a test on hand. I put them in the bathroom when I came home and forgot all about them until this morning. I did not tell my DH that I purchased them.

This morning I did my business and held the little plastic strips under my stream for 10 seconds. Three minutes later a solid line appears and a fainter line crossing it. I re-read the directions...it can't be true! According to the directions it was...it is! I called my DH into the bathroom to verify the results. We both hugged each other for a moment and he proclaimed, "I told you so!" For about one month now he's had a suspicion that I was carrying our child.

Tonight I will be going to the store and buying a more expensive test...the kind that actually say yes or no. I will re-test in the morning. I am hoping that my excitement is not in vain.